After all, when he IS around, he never makes them do anything they don't want to do, and he buys them expensive things to make up for being absent from their lives so much. I don't think anyone here intended a dismissal of the girl as a human being by stating such. I have this brain trapped after all these years. I too suffer the same problem. He was funny, family-oriented, obviously very smart, etc.
It seems to me like you are walking into a relationship where there is a significant disconnect from the start. We can't tell you that. I had been teetering on the fringes for quite a long time, mostly coming to Church but not really being present, because I felt like an outcast as an older single. Hence the suspicious quotes around "adequately. The most important thing is an open dialogue, as you say, and utmost respect for the other person. It made me so very sad. He's now in his 3rd year of a 4 year residency program and is hoping to do a 2 year fellowship next. He is on call ALL the time, he arrives home 9 pm and barely sit down for diner and then gets called away, then again 2 am heart attack.
I don't think I could let that happen. I don't think you necessarily need to cut ties with her. The sad part is that he does not understand what I go through or if I complain or try to make him understand about what's going on at home or my feelings. And a YW leader feels soory for my daughter who is growing up in a home without the priesthood. If you like your regular fix of alcohol or nicotine, then dating a Mormon probably isn't a good idea. In particular, I relate to the fact that I'm feeling more like a booty call these days and it's making me start to resent him. I just pray daily that no matter what we end up doing we are 30 min or less away from each other. I hope that makes sense.
They even refrain from tea and coffee. He is in a way to become a Ex mormon. Since a very young age, these girls have gazed at handsome paintings of Jesus and prophets, and learned to respect men who have spiritual confidence in their eyes.