She might not even be living according to the moral standards of the Church. I'm in the exact same pulling-out-my-hair situation that you are. Thank you so much for posting your thoughts. If I knew any better going into this relationship I would have stopped. This is right for me and for us. Dating a resident is hard - it was hard to realize that I can't come first, or even second, in this relationship right now. In the end, if the guy is the keeper you say he is then go with your gut. It's a less common occurrence, but it happens. However, be careful to not ask something that may offend your date.
There is no such thing as a perfect Mormon family- regardless of whether the parents are sealed or not. I've been married to a doctor for 5 years now been together for 11 years and he is in his first year of Anaesthetics. I know that sounds cold but if you train under stress for that many years and become a member of a masochistic not the sexual context fraternity like that of surgical residents, then you more easily shut out anything that might break down those walls. They must refrain not only from sex, but also passionate kissing or similar physical contact, or any act that arouses such feelings. As the patriarchal leader, it will be up to you to figure it out and to dispel her unrealistic fantasies. And no one has the right to judge you for your decision. She was masterful at hiding the cuts and bruises with clothing.
You have to choose what's right for you, but you have to figure it out. Most likely, the relationship isn't going to survive your differences in belief. Do some research of your own as well, so that you know a little more about the person you are dating. If I could I would marry a businessman or a builder which could have earned us a lot more and wouldn't mean we had to move so much.
The history of racism and violence is upsetting. I am so happy to have found this blog. I'm on the same page as you. I intend to spend some quality time in the temple, with my bishop, and with close family and friends as I think and pray my way through this decision, but I would also value your insights into this. Obviously don't make any commitments further in the relationship because you do not want to be married into an insane orthodox LDS family because it will cause alot of troubles. We met 20 years ago and married for To his patients, he is a god. But the loneliness and the hours ER shifts are taken everything I had left in me. It's a less common occurrence, but it happens. Is it crazy for me to reconsider this relationship.