I don't think anyone here intended a dismissal of the girl as a human being by stating such. The date night strategy is a great idea, and we have tried it, but he is sometimes on call every other night for a month and it makes it tough the nights he's on call he likes to be home just in case and the nights he's not on call, he needs to sleep in case he's up all night the following night. It has made me more creative in utilising time alone that it is sometimes preferred. Would you rather give up the prospect of being married in the temple, the assurance of children being raised in the church, and parts of Mormon culture for your boyfriend, or a great man for your beliefs. That was literally over years ago. We keep getting more and more wedding invitations to our apt and with each one I feel like my dreams float farther and farther away. My plan was to start school as soon as I got married but when he was told he would be going to another hospital, my masters got put on hold. I know, I know, this is the last thing you want to hear.
This spotty attention from him makes me sure I want to end things sometime. I can handle a lot of daily mindless, nonverbal things, like cuddling for a bit before bed, but phone calls and even texting can be exhausting in a way that is very difficult to explain. Additionally, just as corporate cultures exist, so does it exist for every family. By those standards, I was a failure, my husband wasn't "good enough" - and my daughter had ambitious real goals that required a lot of time and effort.
JS married a girl her age when he was 37, after having told her that he had been threatened by an angel with a flaming sword and promising her entire family salvation if she consentedI decided to read the ces letter. I've been doing it wrong. I learned that going out and having fun with friends every single weekend was not going to be part of our lifestyle together due to time restrictions, tiredness, etc. Now I feel sadness for losing out because of fear, and a cult mindset.
I actually had one of my friends say to me, " why are you worried about what he is doing when you aren't there he spends hundreds of dollars on you when you are there who cares that he hasn't texted you". Each time, I start to make friends and have to leave them and move. What a miserable state.