I know a lot of Mormons who were also not raised on fear and guilt and strict gender rolesвbut I was, as were many of my peers. Would she be okay with never being married in the temple. Please realize I know how the church works, was extremely active and raised good kids. I would probably suggest that you cut your losses now.
He might be a doc by day but when he's not at the hospital he's a regular guy just like anyone else. Then you complain when the polish of being married to a doctor wears off and you grow callused to the money and big house. It really can be that simple. I am so grateful to have had the ability to instill in them that family comes first. The date night strategy is a great idea, and we have tried it, but he is sometimes on call every other night for a month and it makes it tough the nights he's on call he likes to be home just in case and the nights he's not on call, he needs to sleep in case he's up all night the following night. Though very busy he tries to be available when I need him.
I am actually tired of the "excuse" that his work is so important or it's a calling. By those standards, I was a failure, my husband wasn't "good enough" - and my daughter had ambitious real goals that required a lot of time and effort. He has no vices, is the happiest person I know, is a healthy role model of manhood for my teen daughter and loves me to the depth of his soul. You just can't imagine the heap o' hurt you're potentially setting yourself up for. We might not always like the way some priesthood holders act, but to disparage the priesthood is not being responsible.
Seclusion has served to preserve their desirable traits, but it also makes it difficult to gain rapport. I have been a doctor's wife for 1 year now and we've been together for 7 years. Everyone has their own sins and impure thoughts they need to overcome. I know a lot of Mormons who were also not raised on fear and guilt and strict gender rolesвbut I was, as were many of my peers.